“Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we’ve grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it’s not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” – Jerry Seinfeld

I’d like to disprove Jerry this year. How better than to have a Karaoke Birthday Party! I’ve done this for a few years now, and it is SO MUCH FUN! Join me, on Saturday, April 10th from 7pm and on for some wacky fun. As one of my close friends called it, my “Dirty Thirty” is upon me… I aim to celebrate. I have so much to give thanks for, one of which is you. You, my friends. I thank that you are in my life, so come on out, bring your friends and let’s party it up!

I set up a Facebook Event, so friend me if you haven’t, or just comment here if you can make it. I’d like a head count, we MAY need more than one room… one year we bled out into the hallways of the establishment lol.

Lincoln Karaoke is an awesome place with PRIVATE ROOMS, so no need waiting for the “DJ” to “pull” your name, when they’re really just calling up their friends and best tippers. Located just south of Bryn Mawr on Lincoln Ave. Check them out here: http://www.lincolnkaraoke.com. There’s a full bar and an appetizer menu. Here’s a small set of pictures of my bday in 2008, it shows one of the rooms http://www.flickr.com/photos/rsutphin/sets/72157608769139593/

So please mark your calendars and bring your singing voices!

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln (Karaoke)

I’d like to say that my friends on twitter are most definitely “Leet” I currently have 1337 followers.

Thought this geeky achievement was worthy of noting… I usually don’t talk about my numbers because, as I’ve said before, it isn’t really the follows you have, but the followings you yourself have made. Most, not all, of the people I follow on twitter, I have met or made some sort of connection and would love to meet. Mostly, if someone interacts with me and makes a point to do so, I end up following back.

I avoid following most celebrities, unless I just really enjoy them or they are friends with someone I know. I will be proud when I hit 1k follows because I would have known most of them personally.

Anyway, as a geek, 1337 has a special meaning and it is the reason for today’s post.

Have a wonderful day!

****

Billy the goat worked as a fry cook at Aunt B’s Restaurant on Canton Highway in Marietta, Georgia. Late summer last year, Usher stopped in for lunch one Monday. It wasn’t busy and as he sat on one of the stools instead of taking a table, he got to talking with his server. Billy was in the kitchen doing his thing and listening to the radio.

Opting for some breakfast for lunch, the server took her ticket and hung it in the ticket wheel by the window to the kitchen. Billy the goat took the order and noticed Usher, recognizing him right away. Deciding right then and there, he would bring out the food and try to audition for him.

See, ever since Billy was a kid, he knew he wanted to be a star. He even won several awards in school talent shows. Billy ultimately was forced to take a job to support his ailing parents. They were involved in a freak metal can-eating accident.

As the pancakes were finished, along with a side of sausage and grits, Billy prepared himself, ensured his beard was straight and took the food out to the counter.

“Maaah” said Billy trying not to sound too eager. “Maaah.”

Usher looked at him. Stared. Then, he said “What the hell?”

“Maaah.” Billy could not believe what he was saying, “Maaah, maaah!” He was going for it, this was the point of no return. Might as well do it. Might as well ask. “Maaah?”

Usher’s mouth was open, he looked stunned. He sat there on the stool next to the counter, right by the blueberry pie in glass. He blinked. Took a breath and let it out. “Very well, show me what you got, goat.”

“Maaah!” Billy for the second time in five minutes could not believe. He was auditioning for THE Usher! “Maaah, maaah, maaah. Maaah.” He hoped he was in tune.

“Stop, goat. I’ve heard enough.” said Usher, bobbing his head slightly. “Lemme eat my food, I have a song I’d like you to collaborate on with me.” He shoved a spoonful of grits in his mouth. “What did you say your name was?”

“Maaah.”

To be continued…

“Last of all Hurin stood alone. Then he cast aside his shield, and wielded an axe two-handed; and it is sung that the axe smoked in the black blood of the troll-guard of Gothmog until it withered, and each time that he slew Hurin cried ‘Aure entuluva!’” – J. R. R. Tolkien

Internet Rule #1: Don’t feed the trolls.

Funny thing about that, sometimes you’re stuck in between thinking something was just so sad and funny, you wanted to share it, but you did not want to feed into it. I debated on this for almost an hour. Today, I was retweeted by my pal Felicia Day, and as per usual, a bunch of her followers retweeted it. One such follower decided to send me a reply instead of retweeting or leaving it alone.

Thus, this is where we stand right now. I wanted to share what this individual had to say, but I did not want to feed their illness. I did what anyone in this situation would do. I photoshop’d a picture of the tweet to remove the person’s name and handle. I also blurred some of the naughty words. This is clearly what this person wants, to be validated and to feel important, and I should just leave it be, but how could I not? You see my predicament? Anyway, I trust that no one will try to find out who did it. Trust me its not worth it, they’re nobody.

Check it out, I thought it was hilarious and was not insulted in the least. Don’t get me wrong, the person is a lowlife scum, but it did get a chuckle out of me. Made my belly rumble. You know, ’cause it’s fat.

Feel free to comment below!

Amy Guth, while writing for ChicagoNow’s Chicago Subtext, had some badass mini flash fiction contests. She would provide an image of some random thing and have us write a ‘complete story” in 100 words or less. I wrote about it on this blog in September.

As I said, I love writing, and as part of the Year of the Edgar movement, I need to push myself to write more. I could just sit down and do it, but I want to try something similar to the flash fiction.

I want you to help me write some short stories. Either email the requests to edgar at edgargarcia dot com or post them as a comment below. I will not be limiting myself to 100 words or less, although I will make them as brief as possible. Your rules. i only ask that you not give me inappropriate guidelines. I reserve the right to reject a request, also, whatever is given to me is assumed to be given to me as being my property for legal purposes, although just contact me if you wish to discuss legalities and such, I’m just a tiny blog anyway.

The point is, give me as much information about what you want me to write about as you want. A character, a word, an item, a genre, use certain word or words or items in a story… its endless. Again, don’t limit me to a certain number of words (like “it has to be under 100 words”). I will try to write the stories as small as I can. I may even get creative and mix multiple ideas into one story. I’d like to get at least five different sources more is better (sources means people, you can send me as many separate ideas as you like but I want a bunch of people to participate so help spread the word.) My plan is to see if I have enough story ideas that I can then post some sort of vote and see which one people want me to elaborate more on. This way you guys get more story/content for free. I may even incorporate more “throw ideas at me” to further the story.

Help me out. I want to write for you guys. What will I write? Its up to you!

Edgar

Well, really I was being silly and I just wanted to make a fool of myself by singing stuff…

I wanted to make up a song and the first thing that came to mind was a parody of Puttin on the Ritz called Puttin up with Fitz. Unfortunately, it came off as an insult, which I quickly fixed (I hope I did) because it wasn’t so at all. It goes with the parody.

At the time @leahjones was featured on a news story in the Chicago Tribune, and we were in the midst of tweetups and lunches with twitter pals (@1god). @BleuCaldwell was setting up some meetups or something through twitter at the time too, I think.

@gar_cia and @ceelos would also complain about a stinky coworker (not @Fitz) that would poop and not properly flush, along with other even more gross things he would do.

My sister had just joined twitter and I joked that her handle @yeseningles was one word but I really knew it was Yes en ingles (Yes in English). I think that properly tells all the inside jokes…

Oh no… Prima Nalgotas… @gar_cia’s cousin was dubbed Prima Nalgotas and we would, from time to time, ask where she is on twitter “Donde estas Prima Nalgotas?”

For your enjoyment:

Ahhh, the good old days…

Tara and Yuri, you two are so endearing!

Does anyone else have any other cures for the hiccups?

First, check Amy’s biography for her details. She writes the local literary blog, Chicago Subtext, for the Tribune’s Chicago Now blog network. Check out my Chicago Now profile here. This is integral to my post today, though she does so much more with her time.

Amy recently blogged about a writing challenge to write flash fiction, or postcard fiction.

a micro-flash fiction story, a very, very short story, but a whole story

Please go back and read the entries, they were all very interesting. The challenge was she provided us with a picture of a bottlecap with a message inside, and we needed to somehow use it in a 100-word or less complete story.

What follows is my entry:

“This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a whimper.” It was the first thing that came to mind as I came to.

As the haze subsided, I took stock of my surroundings. A dark diner. Things strewn about, no windows. What happened? Kitchen’s empty, bathrooms and dining area too.

I headed towards the front door, opened it to a sunset temporarily blinding me and I looked down to see a bottlecap that had, “read Books… not Bottlecaps.”

I thought it odd as I looked up to see a burning city in front of me.

There were many good entries and I was one of four picked, then the audience made it a two-pony race, and I ultimately won.

Amy then posted a second contest. Although I lost, the best part is that I was able to continue my previous story, which was awesome:

No memory of what transpired, I took a step into the burning city. I needed to get my bearings, and fast. No telling what kind of tragedy had transpired.

My first priority was to get back home, it seemed I was several miles north. All of a sudden I remembered. Amy. I was having lunch with Amy.

I crossed street after street wondering where Amy went. Where anyone was. Slowly my memory was returning, and as I turned onto another street, I realized what happened. I saw something.

A road construction sign with the words “BEWARE! ZOMBIES AHEAD.”

Oh crap.

Thanks Amy, I look forward to continuing my story. I wonder what will happen next! Stay tuned!

Oh, by the way, please go to Amy’s posts and add your own flash fiction, using the two items creatively. The two contests are over, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t contribute your own fiction. Follow Amy @amyguth on twitter as well for the next flash fiction. Feel free to post them here as well.

Later that day I found out he was found dead.

I knew very little of the man. I saw him a few times growing up, and again a year ago in Mexico. I could tell he was a loving man. He leaves behind a wife, my mom’s sister, a daughter, my cousin, and an older son from a previous marriage. All he wanted to do was to provide for his wife and daughter. As some immigrants, he fell into some hard times and paid for some mistakes.

My aunt and cousin lived with us for years. They were a part of our immediate family. When my uncle paid his debt, he went back to Mexico wife and daughter in tow to start a new honest life. He opened a successful tortilla shop in his home town. Towns where my parents and he are from are small, dirt roads, and lots of lands… it takes about an hour or less to get to the next similar town and even more to get to the city. They would basically drive to all the towns nearby to sell their tortillas.

My cousin spent another two years with us to finish high school then went right back to her family.

For years, the situation in Mexico has been progressively getting worse. Some of you may have heard of the civil unrest in the southern portions of Mexico with guerrillas and fighting. Not many know of the corruption within the military, or the recent uprising of mafia cartels and gang activities in the north.

Here is an article of his death on a Mexican website. Here it is using Google’s translator.

What sticks out the most is:

Inhabitants of El Oro demand greater military presence since the kidnappings, “surge” and murders are the order of the day. In this regard, the headquarters of EI Oro notes that they are extremely active in prosecuting crime.

El Oro is one of the municipalities where the most bloodshed is recorded, apparently, several groups operate there.

Inhabitants of the municipality of El Oro seek support to end the climate of insecurity and violence in the north of the state.

I remember visiting him about a year ago or so in Mexico. He was happy. He was with his family. This was his second chance. I’ll never forget his smile and the lifetime behind his eyes.

My heart goes out to my aunt and my cousin who are still in Mexico, in fear. Last I heard, they plan to remain there and continue the business. They’ll always have a home with us should they elect to come back to Chicago.

Rest in eternal peace, Gabriel Monarrez Favela. Know that we are here for your family, for they are our family as well.

Its soo weird to be able to do this and if I had the time, I’d totally write up a whole story with these guys and see how it went… Please let me know if you own this game and decide to do this too… I will be extra impressed if you make a sim of me

There’s me:

I aspire to be a top police enforcement officer… not much to choose from. My traits are family, hopeless romantic, lucky, and other things that describe me well. I already got him a job in the law enforcement track. Figured someone has to work. I’ll find jobs for the others soon.

There’s Felicia Day (Codex):

I made her a bit like Codex but a bit like Felicia too… she aspires to be a guitarist and master speaker… I did not see an actor option. Her traits include neurotic, charismatic, and others. I already noticed that she HAS to check the stove to see if its off sometimes…

Sandeep Parikh (Zaboo):

I made him way more like Zaboo because its hilarious… he gets scared easily, a hopeless romantic, can be annoying and his Simian (whatever the language is) sounds JUST LIKE HIM! That was eerie. I swear he said Sandeep once too. Anyway, it will be interesting how he turns out in the game.

Finally, saved the best for last, Jeff Lewis (Vork):

He is a mooch, very frugal, and already seems very anal. His casual clothing is suit and tie and sneakers. Funny that when I went to make him, the dude already had the bald hair style. Weird. Anyway, in this Sims, you cant’ choose height, but I set him as lanky, since it will distinguish him as tall then. I figure I will send this guy off to other houses to eat from their food. lol (squab!) When he views thing, the thought bubble shows the golden dollar sign, like he’s thinking of selling it for the simoleans.

Now, I haven’t done anything with them, just had them freely do anything. I noticed that everyone seemed willing to sleep with Felicia (big surprise there) but then two of the guys were sleeping and I found out it was just that they have to consider each other friends is all. I plan on adding more cast to other homes and have them all interact and see what happens… I will also make up significant others specifically for each char and see if I can get them to fall for each other. So if Felicia, Sandeep, or Jeff have specific desires as to their significant other should look like, let me know before I move on to that part of this game lol.

I will leave you with some more screen shots I took: